I recently re-joined Match.com and started chatting with Sabrina. She was attractive, had a great job, and claimed to have an amazing sense of humor, so we made plans to get drinks. I walked in the door at 5:54 p.m.—a detail that will become important later.
When we met, she actually looked like her pictures, which was a refreshing change. But then something odd happened. I asked her about her Easter dinner, and she replied with three words: "It was fine." Okay, so I asked if she'd done anything fun with her family over the weekend. "Not really."
This went on for the next half hour. I’d ask an open-ended question and receive a one-to-five-word response, followed by silence. I didn't even get the unimaginative follow-up question, "What about you?" It seemed like even "You?" was too much to ask.
After about 20 minutes of this, she finally offered, "I don't have much to say sometimes." No kidding, Socrates. I asked her if she wanted another drink, and she literally just shrugged her shoulders, unable to utter a syllable. I took that as my cue, called for the check, paid it like a chump, and mercifully, the date ended.I got back to my car at 6:32 p.m.
The lesson: If you're on a terrible date with someone you know you'll never see again, and she offers to split the check, don't be a hero—just split the check.
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