When I started thinking about why women have ended things with me, a few reasons came to mind. Here they are, in no particular order:
Their mom told them to break up with me. (Yes, this happened with my ex-wife.)
They couldn't see a future with me.
They typically date guys who are "more fit." (This really makes me question the "honesty is the best policy" thing.)
They wanted to get back together with an ex.
They love oral sex way too much.
(I made up one of those. You can guess which one.)
New Reasons
Recently, I've run into two new and rather unique reasons for getting dumped:
"Because your mom is technically my boss."
"Because smoking cigarettes is more important to me than this."
Let me break these down for you.
The Boss's Daughter
Yes, her mom was technically my boss—and I mean that literally. My boss found out we were dating and told her daughter to call things off, and she did. This one felt all too familiar, echoing my first reason.
The Smoking Issue
This one was truly fascinating. I met Deb on Match.com. She was spunky, cute, fun, and not Mormon, but she smoked like a chimney. Now, smoking is usually a deal-breaker for me, but I'll be honest, I was running out of options. We lived an hour apart and would hang out about once a week. We'd have a few drinks, she'd smoke, and I'd pretend it didn't bother me.
I did eventually tell her that I wasn't a fan and that it did bother me. She would go off to smoke away from me, and I never said another word about it. Other than the smoking, we got along really well. We communicated effectively, laughed a lot, and genuinely enjoyed each other's company.
This all changed last week when she dropped a bombshell: she needed to smoke regularly without feeling like I was judging her. I pointed out that I never said anything to her about it, and she agreed. But she was clear: smoking was a part of who she was, and she didn't feel I was supportive (which, to be fair, I wasn't). So, that was it. I drove my butt back home.
It's been a week since all this B.S., and I'm still trying to make sense of it. I feel like I was in a no-win situation. Maybe the lesson here is that I shouldn't make compromises on things that are important to me—and it seems smoking counts as one of those. Or maybe I should just keep my mouth shut and accept people for who they are.
Maybe I just need to move on.
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