It recently dawned on me that it's been a while since I've explored new dating sites, a realization that hit me as I was busy swiping on Tinder. For those unfamiliar, Tinder is a mobile app that uses your Facebook profile to create a simple dating profile. What began as an app for casual hookups has now become a viable option for serious daters. And it's free, sort of—more on that later. My first impression of Tinder was that it was bizarre and superficial. Once you open the app, it uses your location to find matches nearby. The only filters you can set are the age range and distance. As photos appear, you swipe left to reject and right to accept. If both people swipe right, you're a match and can start texting through the app.
My Conflicted Feelings on Tinder
I've struggled to write about Tinder because of my mixed feelings. On one hand, it's easy, fun, and a quick way to check out potential matches. You can glance at a picture and instantly judge if someone is "worthy" of your time. We all do a version of this in real life—scanning a crowd, spotting an attractive person, and instantly checking their ring finger. However, something about Tinder feels much more shallow to me. The swipes are a quiet, thoughtless acceptance or rejection, and I'm just as guilty of this as anyone.
A Real-Time Analysis
To illustrate this, here’s a real-time analysis of some of my recent Tinder matches (names and ages have been changed):
Amber, 25: Very pretty, four-word profile. SWIPE RIGHT
Lindsay, 29: Two similar interests, no written profile. SWIPE LEFT
Renee, 30: No written profile, attractive, kids in every picture. SWIPE LEFT
Jenna, 37: Not attractive, lots of pictures of cats and kids. SWIPE LEFT
Sammie, 28: Very cute, tons of tattoos, one similar interest, no written profile. SWIPE RIGHT
What did this little experiment teach me? That I can be a terrible, superficial person. But isn't that the point of Tinder? You make split-second judgments and move on to the next person. While technology has changed how we meet people, we have to ask if it’s for the better. We're now screening potential partners based solely on a few photos, shared interests, and a couple of sentences. A swipe left banishes someone from our lives, while a swipe right puts them in a "maybe" pile.
I'm not saying this is entirely wrong, but it does feel like we've become our online "profiles"—easily created and just as easily discarded. After writing down whether or not someone is "worthy" of me, I have to admit that a swipe left for myself feels well-deserved.
