Wednesday, July 11, 2012

A Dating Diary: My Divorce and a Security Guard Named Jill

After my divorce, I coped like any mature adult: by drinking excessively and hiding in my room. For six months, my routine was a grim cycle of work, liquor, and getting drunk alone. I heard my ex was already with someone new, a detail a "real friend" would have kept to themselves.


The Call Center and the Security Guard

I was a call center drone, making $11 an hour. I called it a "death march" past security, hanging my soul on the coat rack each morning. But then I saw Jill. She was a new security guard—tall with a great smile. For the first time since my divorce, I felt something other than anger.

I finally worked up the courage to ask her for a drink. She said yes.


The Chemistry and the Fear

It was amazing how much better I felt just by being with someone who seemed to genuinely like me. Jill was kind, and our chemistry was instant. We hung out several times a week, ordering Chinese food and watching TV. But her affection scared me. I was so worried about screwing up again that I ultimately did.


The Big News and the End

One day at work, Jill told me she got a probation officer job in Wyoming. My heart sank. I tried to act happy, but all I could see was another person bailing on me. When she suggested long-distance, I shot it down like an insolent child. I pouted, saying we were "just friends anyway." She left, and I never saw her again.

I learned she'd quit to move West. I tried calling, but she never answered. I was clearly not ready for another relationship, but I've often thought about Jill since and wished I had handled it differently. 

I miss her. She was a good egg. 

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