Dating Advice for the Fellas
Since I offered some unsolicited advice to the ladies, I figured you guys could use some equally useless dating advice.
Keep the First Date Simple
Don't plan a bunch of extravagant stuff for a first date. When I first started dating after my divorce, I'd plan nice dinners and multiple activities, only to realize I was wasting a ton of cash on women I had little in common with. Stop it. For a first date, just plan for drinks or coffee—nothing more. If you're both enjoying yourselves at the end of it, feel free to extend the evening. But if she's a total pain in the ass, you can cut your losses after a single drink.
Just Be Yourself
There's no point in spending the first few dates pretending to be someone you're not. At some point, the real you is going to emerge, and it'll be in stark contrast to who you've pretended to be. Knock that off. When you meet the right person, whether it's for the night or forever, it'll be because of who you truly are, not who you fake being.
Be Polite
Hold open doors, offer to buy drinks, and just be polite. Maybe this won't get you laid, but it'll mean you aren't a jerk, which counts for something as far as karma is concerned.
Listen More, Talk Less
Shut the f* up**. Smile a lot, ask questions, and let her talk about herself. Throw in funny comments when you can, and only talk when you have something meaningful to say. Mostly, though, realize that she probably doesn't give a damn about most of what you have to say. Don't be rude; just smile, ask about her, listen, and whatever you do, don't one-up her stories. (In fact, don't do that to anyone, unless you want to be an asshole.)
Be Honest, But Not Brutally Honest
Say things like, "You look great" and "It was a lot of fun to hang out with you." Avoid statements like, "Your p* stinks**" or "I think you're a b**." These sound funny and obvious, but some guys get a few drinks in them and decide to be "cute." See Rule #4: Shut the fuck up.
Act Confident
Confidence can be hard for a lot of us because it may not be in our nature. If you're not confident, follow this rule: act as if. Just pretend you are confident. Believe that someone, somewhere, is going to find you attractive. Maybe it's not the girl you're on a date with, but someone will be into you for who you actually are. It's the law of averages, man. I know a guy who was a total nerd in high school, moved to Korea, and now has a hot wife. I'm just sayin'—it happens. Just be you.
Don't Be Pushy
There's a fine line between taking a chance when you think she's interested and being a pushy douche. If you think she's into you and you're feeling the moment, take your shot. Maybe you'll miss (aka get shot the f*** down), but at least you took a chance. Now, if you get rejected and keep pushing, you're probably a creepy dude. Maybe it works with some women, but it most likely means you're a shitty person.
So, that's what I've got, fellas. In short: don't be a dick.
3 comments:
This entire entry can be summed up with your last sentence. "Don't be a cock". Thats it. With online dating in particular, pretty much everyone is so as a woman when a guy is NORMAL and not talking about my tits, he is prince fucking charming to me!
I agree with everything here except your comment about the girl not caring what the fuck you're saying. I care. I don't want you to talk about you the entire time...but I do want to hear about you. How else am I going to get to know you? So that's my rant...
Another note: don't do any of the above while talking to my tits. I know I have an epic rack. You don't have to acknowledge this with your eyes. It invalidates anything you say. Thanks.
~Kat~
Ok, I mean, here's the thing...the best among us are going to look at your boobies, we are hard wired to do so.
But I agree there is a difference between glancing and staring at them.
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